Market Jargon

This is funny though :-

Market Jargon

Bull market :
a random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Bear market :
a six- to eight-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery and the husband gets no sex.

Momentum investing :
the fine art of buying high and selling low.

Value investing :
the art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E ratio :
the percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

Broker :
poorer than you were last year.

Buy, buy :
a flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane.

Standard and Poor (S&P):
your life in a nutshell. [that's me me me!!!]

Stock analyst :
idiot who just downgraded your stock.

Market correction :
the day after you buy stocks. [that's me me me too, Duh!!!]

Cash flow :
the movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

Institutional investor :
past year investor who is now locked up in a nut house.

EBITDA : earnings before I tricked the dumb auditor.
EBIT : earnings before irregularities and tampering.
CEO : chief embezzlement officer.
CFO : chief fraud officer
EPS : eventual prison sentence.